2 more days before exams begin....
And this is exactly how the study plan I wrote in my diary 2 minutes back, goes:
CS202:
Watch Orientalism video. (about an hour long speech by some guy)
Orientalism readings.
Read the textbook chapters again.
Oh, you forgot the lecture notes!
*Basically everything needed for the exam.*
CS212:
:O
God save me!!
CS215:
Notes.
Everything.
Again.CS222:
Textbook?! START!!!
+ Notes
Everything forgotten.
MB103:
He he he.
Inime daan start.
And this is how my timetable goes:
17th Apr: CS202
18th Apr: CS215
20th Apr: CS215
21st Apr: CS 212
03rd May: MB 103
Really, God save me.
*Whew, better.*
Totally random
Positively irritated.
With people, things, days and of course, myself. Wish I could shut up more than I currently do.
Wish I actually study. Instead of wasting time. And take more care, instead of being the ever-so-clumsy me. Ughhh!!!
God save me.
Oh yeah, the others too.
Why conform?
Yes...why should one conform to the society?
Maybe so that there's no confusion.
What if my not being conformed causes no problem to anything,
anything in the society?
I often wonder why I should do something because
everyone does it? First thing is how it could be everyone if I'm not part of it :) But silly thoughts aside, why, if my being different causes no problem to anyone?
It's crazy. That
everyone cries for movies,
everyone likes rock, this that. Everyone doing something doesn't mean it is universal. So what if I don't cry when I watch movies? I think it's utterly stupid to get emotional for something that is false, fictitious. I can't. That I don't cry is no testimony to the fact that I'm someone emotionless. It's just that it takes different things to dig deep into my emotions and make them come out.
And what with music.
Everyone likes rock. Or that rock is the music of the elite, those who like rock are the 'real' music fans, they're in the high strata. What rubbish! Who is anyone to even comment on any of my music tastes?! My music is my own. It's for me, my pleasure, my sadness, my companion. Not listening to any particular msuic doesn't make me any less of a music fan than anyone else.
The reason 'everyone does it' to get me doing something is the most irritating one I can ever get. Surprisingly to myself now, I used to give that reason at least five years back, telling my mother I want something because 'everyone else' has it. It irritates me to no extent these days, that the best I can do to stop myself from yelling is to shut up. My individualism has grown to such a great extent now that I'm actually scared. Scared that I'll displease some who matter the most to me. My 'I don't care' attitude is nearing levels it has never seen before, but this doesn't scare me. I know that I don't care only about things that are not of great consequence to me; things which, if absent, do not cause a great loss to me. Nowadays, my attitude has become one of 'If you think it's right, if you want, do it' I don't know if it's right or wrong, but again, who makes the right or wrong? Why should anyone conform to the society's right or wrong? Ultimately it all seems to boil down to the if-you-care concept. If you care about what society thinks about you, stop. If only your near and dear matter to you and they disapprove, stop too. If you don't really care about nothing, just go ahead. And this principle is damn exciting to live by!
I'm not completely an individual for whom other opinions have stopped to matter; it'll take ages for me to get to that stage, because there are a number of people that I always want to please, the people whose approval I want for everything I do in life.
For the others, I don't care. Don't expect me to do something because
everyone does it.
P.S.: Dusting up this blog after ages. :)
