Thursday, July 28, 2005

Questions unlimited

I am always so full of questions; and when I am in a contemplative mood, as I am today, my mind bursts open with so many questions, most of which are never answered. I think now, as I struggle valiantly to be optimistic, that I'll never find the answers.
For instance, why is it that good times seem to disappear so quickly that you never realize they're gone until bad times start taking effect?
Why are there so many bad times that make you wish for some time turner and change things, or better still, to escape into the future so you don't have to face them!
How do things unexpectedly make even the optimist feel hopeless?
And why does God seem to leave that hand He used to hold you with, when you needed that support the most?
But well, things can never be hopeless....even in the darkest of skies, there will be some ray of light coming out to give a splinter of hope....or maybe, the other way to feel hopeful is to think of those people who are worse, as it comes in one old song in Tamil, oft quoted by my mother.
"Unakkum keezhey iruppavar kodi,
Ninaithu paarthu nimmadhi naadu"
(Umm, well, not sure of the second line :) )
What say you?

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Seconds

Seconds
By this I mean not minute-seconds; not the second hole girls have on their ears, but the kids born second to their parents. This is just a random thought that flashed across my mind, and nothing serious, so Anu, don’t mind! :)

Second kids, if they have no more siblings after them, are called kadai kutti in Tamil. They are supposed to be highly spoilt, pampered children. But mind you, that’s rarely true! Seconds are the poor souls who are second in many things, right from that dress you wore when you were three years old, to the cycle you rode when you were a kid. I mean, they mostly get things second hand.

People usually think seconds are children who are just pampered like hell. But no, I guess parents take extra effort not to earn their child this title and are, in fact, extra strict.

Seconds are also the ones subject to a lot of comparison with the older child. “Oh, he is so quiet, look at you…you talk twice as much as him!”, they say. Or it is “Your sister was such a brilliant child, teachers are actually surprised you’re her sister!!”. Thank god, I was never subject to such remarks, as I was silent with all people my sister used to be silent with, and I studied well, too! :P

Also, if you’re the first kid, just count the number of photos of yours, all alone. Guess parents are so proud and happy to have a kid around the home that they just have pictures of the first born in all sorts of poses.

Ah! Ippdi kupparichunta!
Picture.
Anga paaren, sofa-va pudinchundu nikaraan!!
Picture.
Pallu illama sirikardha paaren!
Picture.
Kai-ya epdi vechundrukkaa paren!
Picture.
Nikkaran!
Picture.
Nadakaraan!
Picture.
Sirikaraa!
Picture.
Saapadraan!
Picture.

(Exaggeration intended. You do have that many pictures!)
Also, first borns are usually the pets of grandparents, uncles (especially mama-s and chithi-s) and neighbours too! Most neighbours near our old homes, don’t remember me! :D

But the saddest things are the hand-me-downs. It’s quite easy to tell the innocent little ones that the things they are given are new, because most of the time they don’t remember the older sibling using it. Poor me, I was ‘cheated’ like this with watches, cycles, clothes and well, many other things. The cycles I had were the last straw. My tricycle had been used by a cousin, then my sister, then came to me. My (er, ok…as in used by me…) BSA Champ was Anu’s. The BSA SLR cycle, was, first my mom’s then sister’s, then came to me. But I feel sad for the person I gave away the SLR to, he’s the fourth in line. God only knows if he’s still using it.

But well, being second isn’t always a disadvantage. There are some up sides too. Parents usually are freer with the second one. They are less apprehensive about sending the kid out of home to study, and are more willing, usually to let the kid pursue studies of even off-beat subjects. This doesn’t generally happen with the older kid, I guess parents feel a bit insecure. And another thing, the second kid always has better stuff, say, like a computer, at an earlier age than the older one!

This has been written entirely in good humour. I don’t feel jealous coz we seconds enjoy life too! :P